Those "Regular Guys" on the Right

In painting John Kerry as a brie-munching, French-speaking, manicured, rich tool of a phony liberal intelligensia, the right has furthered its project of positioning itself squarely -- if dishonestly -- on the side of ordinary working people. Sean Hannity has been one of the most vocal promoters of this lie, frequently contrasting the supposed elitism of Kerry and the Democrats with his own allegedly oh-so-humble, average-guy lifestyle.

Recently, for example, according to Media Matters, Hannity mocked out on Kerry's windsurfing, bloviating that:

[C]arpenters, electricians, regular folks" don't windsurf and asserting that "I know a lot about carpenters and electricians and plumbers, and I'm gonna tell you something right now that the ones I knew and worked with in New England ... were too busy working to find a little spare time to head off to Nantucket for the weekend and start windsurfing."

What a surprise it must have been, then, for the students at Washington University in St. Louis, when Hannity cancelled a planned talk at the school because he didn't like any of the private jets that were proposed for his transportation, and a first-class commercial ticket was not a good enough substitute!

Then, plain-speaking, shoot-from-the-hip Hannity asked the event organizers to lie about his reasons for not coming. According to Wash U's student magazine:

"[Hannity's agent] said he thought we should say that because of the short time frame involved, it didn't work out," said [Washington University law student Ruth] Hollander. "I said I didn't think that was the truth, and...I really felt we had met all of our commitments and we were going to be honest when asked."

Somehow, The Peach cannot imagine the essentially decent John Kerry doing something like this. It is an utter mystery to us how the likes of Hannity have so successfully promoted their phony populism while working energetically to promote policies that harm middle- and working-class people. A related mystery: how the mainstream media allows these lies to go unchallenged. The Peach will give a special mention to anyone who finds this story picked up by major media.

MSNBC Publishes Fake Republican Info as Fact

If you needed any more proof that "mainstream media" is in the pocket of the Republicans, yet another smoking gun is surely this MSNBC headline, published AHEAD of the real government economic report. It seems this was a Republican "boosting" test gone wrong, and MSNBC "accidentally" ran this fake PR spin as fact. Shortly after, this was taken down and a sheepish, real headline admitted: "In a blow to President Bush, the U.S. economy created only 96,000 jobs in September."  

We Don't Call Him Dick For Nothing

After watching the VP debate The Peach discovered that none other than Dick "I am Satan" Cheney ignorantly scored a TD for the other team with this statement:

They know that if you go, for example, to factcheck.com, an independent Web site sponsored by the University of Pennsylvania, you can get the specific details with respect to Halliburton.

Well, don't ask us to not do what ol' Dickie boy says. Not only do we recommend that you go to factcheck.com, we insist on it. That's right, it's factcheck.com. Listen to what our VP tells you. That's F-A-C-T-C-H-E-C-K-.-C-O-M.

Huh?!

Today's biggest "WHAT?" moment goes out to Scott McClellan, the White House spokesperson, when he gave this response to the most recent report that Saddam had no WMD's:

"that Saddam Hussein had the intent and the capability, that he was pursuing an aggressive strategy to bring down the sanctions, the international sanctions,imposed by the United Nations through illegal financing procurement schemes."

"Illegal financing procurement schemes?!" What the hell is that? Some kind of Ponzi or Pyramid scandal? Or was Saddam playing three card monte on some street corner? Is Scott going to the "Don King School of English" now? The Peach supposes this is one sure way to confuse the public. Take something as simple as "NO WMD's" and make it so perplexing that only this administration understands it.

If you want to read the story on the latest findings go here.

Someone's Been Sucking On The Gas Pipe

If The Peach could find eight different ways to use the word incredulous it would. We have just discovered that the Michigan Republican Party is going after Michael Moore for attempting to bribe voters. The bribe? Moore offered underwear, Ramen noodles, and, The Mother of All Bribes, a year's supply of Tostitos to college students if they promised to vote. My God, how could any college student (even a Republican) resist such a cache of wealth.

Let's see if we get this right. Republicans tell the voting public that if they vote for Kerry/Edwards they're all going to die. Michael Moore offers munchies. The Peach wonders who would be more likely to lead people to the wrong end of the SS Poseidon? Read the whole story here. And if you don't believe that, go to the official MRP website. Can you say "insane?"

Baron's Brain: The Official Pigeon School of Debate and Their Star Pupil

After closely scrutinizing the most recent Kerry/Bush debate, The Brain decided to look into President Bush's technique and who (or what) could have coached him. The videotape offered a confusing array of clues. Yet, what The Brain found most peculiar was the odd use of body language the Prez obviously was well versed, as well as well rehearsed, in. After consulting a number of close politcal insiders, The Brain discovered what he suspected all along. Bush was incorporating a debate technique thought to have gone the route of the now extinct dodo bird. Yes, our leader had studied the ancient technique of "pigeon debating." To verify this, The Brain sought out probably the last great expert in "pigeon debating," Professor Coocoo Peck (see picture). The Professor spends his lunch hours underneath a statue in Washington Square Park. Professor Peck had this to say:

"You can most certainly see that our President has employed many characteristics reminiscent of 'pigeon debating.' The most significant are the bobbing of the head, the lifting of the shoulders, the batting of the eyes while maintaining the somewhat 'checked out' look, the curling of the lips as if eating bird seed, and finally the swaying back and forth. This is done to confuse and disorient the opponent. Unfortunately, for Mr. Bush, if the opponent is unfamiliar with this form of debating, which I'm sure was the case with Mr. Kerry, the technique is completely inocuous. Subsequently, the employer of this strategy ends up looking like a straining fool."

The Brain is curious if Bush will stick with his current game plan? Or will he throw caution to the wind and begin flapping his arms, too? The clock is ticking.

Professor Coocoo Peck 

The Star Pupil 

Oops! . . . We Did It Again

Even though BBC Radio gave this story top billing, The Peach was nothing short of dismayed to find that our local paper buried it on page four:

No Al Qaeda link: A new CIA assessment undercuts the White House's claim that deposed Iraqi President Saddam Hussein maintained ties to Al Qaeda, saying there's no conclusive evidence that his regime harbored Osama bin Laden associate Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. Since June, Bush and Cheney have repeatedly said that al-Zarqawi, the most-wanted terrorist in Iraq, was an associate of bin Laden and received safe haven from Hussein. But Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld backed away Monday from the administration's broaderclaims that Hussein and Al Qaeda were linked. "To my knowledge, I have not seen any strong, hard evidence that links the two," Rumsfeld said. The officials who described the new assessment spoke on condition of anonymity because the matter is classified.

This revelation comes just two years after Rumsfeld himself said:

"There is no question but that there have been interactions between the Iraqi government, Iraqi officials and Al Qaeda operatives," Mr. Rumsfeld said in November 2002. "They have occurred over a span of some 8 or 10 years to our knowledge. There are currently Al Qaeda in Iraq.''

Can't you just hear the sound of air rushing from their balloon? And with the VP debate happening tonight how is Dick "We're all gonna die" Cheney going to explain this away?

The Peach feels this should have been front page news. This was the last viable reason we invaded Iraq. With this lie exposed this administration has no justification for their actions.

To read the whole story go to the New York Times.

It's Hard Work . . . NOT!

We here at The Peach have some confusion about just how much "hard work" it will take to secure our country -- or at least how much of that work President Bush is really prepared to do. During the debate Thursday night, Bush felt it was important to repeat the phrase almost constantly, according to the the New York Times.

Mr. Bush said "hard work" 11 times, generally to describe the challenges facing him in the fight against terrorism, although at moments it looked as if the most onerous part of his job was the debate.

The problem we're having is understanding what "hard work" means to this president. According to reputable sources, Bush has set near record numbers when it comes to days of leisure. We discovered this fact:

500 Number of days Bush has spent all or part of his time away from the White House at his ranch in Crawford, Texas, his parents' retreat in Kennebunkport, Maine, or Camp David as of 1 April 2004.

To give you an idea of how this measures up, President Clinton had 152 days of vacation in TWO TERMS. We're still trying to get an updated number of "hard-working days" our Fearless Leader has had at his "all work all the time" resorts away from the White House. Until that time The Peach will continue to scratch its fuzzy head wondering what on earth this guy is talking about.

(Since this posting The Peach has found out that since elected, President Bush has spent 40 percent of his "work" time at his vacation resorts)

Girl, Shut Up (No, Really, Shut Up)

It seems that Condoleeza Rice is yet again defending this administration's belief that Iraq had nuclear capabilities. In arguing against a recent New York Times aricle which pointed out that this administration's experts could not even agree on Iraq's nuclear state, she stated on ABC's "This Week" program that "people are still debating this." Well, The Peach has only this to say: Shut Up Already!! The only people debating this are you and whoever else you see in the mirror (we're already under the belief that the Prez is hearing voices, so that debate is more complicated). When will your sorry posse admit that you were and are wrong? It truly is pathetic.

The Truth About Iraq

If any reader is interested in what's really going on in Iraq, The Peach urges they read this e-mail sent by Farnaz Fassihi of the Wall Street Journal. In it she describes the true chaos that occupies that land. She also has this to say about the current administration's perspective:

Despite President Bush's rosy assessments, Iraq remains a disaster. If under Saddam it was a potential threat, under the Americans it has been transformed to imminent and active threat, a foreign policy failure bound to haunt the United States for decades to come.

The Peach asks our readers to not be misled by this President or any of his cronies. Spread the truth about Iraq and circulate this e-mail as much as possible. Our country deserves and demands it.

We Have Nothing to Fear but Fear, Fear and More Fear

The Peach recommends that readers view this video clip. It reinforces the fact that the Republicans have only one weapon in their rhetorical arsenal: that's to scare the bejeebies out of the American public. The Reps obviously recognize that this is the only way to prevent voters from examining, or even considering, more than one issue. The Peach also feels that they've come to embrace fear so much, that it's actually become a way to discourage voters from not only scrutinizing all the facts, but to be brave enough to want a change in administrations. The Peach concludes that the Republicans really have learned something from all those terrorists.