The Peach

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Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Is Rove Raving?

This is really weird. Apparently Karl Rove put down his briefcase and lay down in front of the wheels of Air Force One yesterday, following Bush's speech in New Jersey. After a few moments, the story notes, Rove got up and joined a smiling Bush on board the aircraft.

The campaign says it was a "humorous moment on the campaign trail." Er . . . ha, ha.

Nothing But A Bunch Of Cheaters

Excuse us, but The Peach is having a real serious problem with the absentee ballot cock-up in Hamilton County, Ohio. It seems that a number of the ballots sent out failed to include John Kerry's name. Instead, below the names of Bush and Cheney was the phrase "Candidate Removed." This phrase should have been where Ralph Nader's name appears. Nader's name was to be removed after the Ohio Secretary of State found that signatures on petitions to get Nader on the ballot were invalid (surprise, surprise).

What we don't understand is why no one caught this mistake until now. HELLO!! You're trying to tell us that the person who put the ballot together, the proofreader, the printer, the counter, the address checker, the envelope stuffer, the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker, etc., etc., all of these people FAILED TO NOTICE that Kerry's name was not on the ballot. The Peach can only attribute the flaw to one of the following: that Ohioans are really stupid, that Ohio has the highest percentage of hiring the blind for government positions, or that there's something really underhanded going on. The Peach tends to discount the first two. You make the call.

You can read all about it here.

Today's Political Question

Who said the following:

"Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger." (emphasis ours)
A) Karl Rove
B) George W. Bush
C) Paul Wolfowitz
D) Donald Rumsfeld
E) Herman Goering
F) Vladimir Putin
G) Tony Blair
H) Dick Cheney

The answer is: E) Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trials

Readers of The Peach should not only find this quote pertinent, they should find it frightening.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Baron's Brain: The Jig Is Up

Damn that Bill O'Reilly!! He's figured us out. That's right, he knows exactly what we're up to. We're after him. He represents everything we're against. We can't stand him. We especially hate it when people from meager beginnings overcome terror perpetrated by abusive alcoholic fathers, pull themselves up from the dreck that is their life, and make something useful of themselves. And if that's not enough, is Billy Boy smart, or what? I mean, think of the sneaky, underhanded things that we were up to that he uncovered. I can't even get a piece of sushi or cafe latte without getting a suspicious glare.

Alas, the jig is up. Just when we thought we could hit him with a sexual harassment suit and use the extortion money to help fund the Kerry campaign, he figured out that we, the left, are behind all the charges. We're not really sure where we went wrong. Could it have been the vibrator that was turned on by pushing the switch to the left? Or that the hotel we lured him to was conveniently located to the left of the donut shop. Or that all the hookers we sent him always asked him to sit on the left side of the bed.

The bottom line is, we've never cared about George W. Bush. It's Bill O'Reilly we're after. That's right. We're more concerned about him than anything else. We don't care if George W. Bush controls the White House and basically rapes the rest of he country. No, we have bigger fish to fry. We have Bill O'Reilly. Did you hear me. Bill O'Reilly. All of this talk about the current administration screwing up is just a smokescreen. No, we're just after Bill. Why? Well, because Bill stands for fair and balanced, no spin. And we can't stand that shit. And, we have nothing better to do than waste our time on him.

A Heartbeat Away

This perspective on Bush's mental and physical health, from a disinterested observer across the pond, is truly sobering.