The Peach

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Saturday, November 20, 2004

More Lies From The Right

While the Bush administration continues to fill a plethora of open positions with dumb-witted lap dogs, we get this from the Republican led Congress--that in a "defeat" to Bush, Republicans have derailed legislation to overhaul the nation's intelligence agencies as recommended by the 9/11 commission. Do they really expect The Peach to believe that the Republican members in Congress were doing the American people a favor? Bush didn't want the recommendations to go through from the beginnining. It seems more likely that some kind of backroom deal was made to allow the president to publicly appear all gung-ho about intelligence reform, while ensuring that no real changes get made. Disappointing, but hardly surprising.

That Sucking Sound You Hear. . .

is the sound of the U.S. economy being flushed down the toilet. While this administration tries to distract us with rumblings about Iran, a number of economic indicators have floated under the national radar. Before fleeing the country (his modus operandi), Bush signed legislation to raise the national debt limit by $800 billion, bringing overall debt to a whopping $8.2 trillion. The Peach reckons that by saving us from the "tax-and-spend-liberals" Bush has created a "don't-tax-but-spend-anyway" form of government that is saddling this country with a debt never seen before.

And if that's not enough, Forbes magazine announced that the American dollar has now reached a record low against the Euro. At one point the dollar fell to nearly $1.31 for every Euro before settling at just under $1.30. If anything, this may explain why the SCLM is constantly reminding us how much foreigners hate Americans. We'll be discouraged from spending our money there and ignore the fact that a dollar is only worth a dollar in the ole U.S. of A.

Finally, the Index of Leading Economic Indicators fell in October for the fifth straight month, suggesting what one economist called "a clear signal that the economy is losing steam." What happened to all that "turning the corner" malarkey? The Peach hopes that all those "sure, we'll drink your Kool-Aid" Bush voters are paying attention. While they blindly watch this economy bottom out, they are going to get a tongue-lashing from The Peach from now until 2008.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Afghanistan, The World's First Official Democratic Narco-State

It seems that Afghanistan has taken advantage of their recently acquired democratic status by resorting to their pre-Taliban cash-cow, heroin production. According to an article from The Scotsman a United Nations report shows that the heroin business in Afghanistan is now at all-time record levels. The report, oddly enough, also points out the fact that only the Taliban had been able to crush the rampant cultivation. So let's see if The Peach gets this right. Those evil followers of Mullah Omar were able to end the heroin business with guys carrying bazookas on mules. Meanwhile, we go in with tanks and Appache helicopters and we're looking at a bumper-crop of opium. Is this how the administration avoids handing out all those pesky little farm subsidies?

Passing Gas

A recent speech by John Ashcroft had even his audience holding their collective nose. Ashcroft told the nation's largest association of law enforcement executives that the Bush administration had made this nation more secure from terrorist attacks and violent crimes. Apparently, the association didn't agree with such an assessment. The next day the International Association of Chiefs of Police (IACP) said that cuts by the administraion in federal aid to local police agencies have left the nation more vulnerable to public safety threats. IACP President Joseph Polisar pointed out that hundreds of police officer jobs have been lost across the nation in the past four years and, with a proposed one billion dollar budget cut in federal aid for 2005, hundreds more look to be eliminated. It's rather disquieting knowing that even when Johnny is out of the loop, he's still out of the loop.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

The Truth Is Out: They Really Are Dumber

A recent chart published by bangedup.com demonstrates what The Peach has believed all along. Those red-staters really are dumber. Based on some arcane calculation of SAT scores, the chart shows that 26 states that went for Bush were also the bottom 26 states on the IQ scale. Well, Bushies may argue, there must be some red-states in the upper bracket. The answer: no. The 16 highest-IQ states all voted for Kerry. The remaining eight states alternated positions in the middle. The Peach only has this to say to those Republicans who claim to be MENSA members and other similar nonsense: how does it feel to be bathing in the swill with toothless Cletus from Backwardville, Ignorama.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Gurley Man

More Republican party hypocrisy was revealed today by BlogActive and RawStory. It seems that the Republicans' national field director, Dan Gurley, was having a field day of his own on Gay.com, a gay male online dating service, where Mr. Gurley allegedly sought male partners for unprotected sex.

According to Raw Story, Mr. Gurley's public online profile "states that he is seeking “action/sex,” is in an “open relationship” and that his partner and himself “enjoy playing together when we can.” His private adult profile is more direct, soliciting unsafe sex and detailing more personal information."

Raw Story did not quote directly from the private profile, and did not indicate whether they had access to the original language. Mr. Gurley has admitted that he had a profile on the online dating service, but says that he deleted it. He further claims that the current one was put up by someone else, using Mr. Gurley's former screen name. This appears to be unlikely, since Gay.com says they do not allow screen names to be reused.

The public profile contains a section titled "Other Vices." Mr. Gurley's response: "None, but I'm lookin' . . . " The Peach suggests the Republican Party platform document as a starting point for Mr. Gurley's list. We are sure it contains plenty of ideas for behavior that no self-respecting Republican would even think of engaging in.

Monday, November 15, 2004

Chicken and Rice

Looks like National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice is being tapped to replace Colin Powell. Presumably she can be counted upon to toe the administration line 100% of the time.

Gettin' Gay All Over

After winning the election on their anti-gay agenda, it now appears that the Republican National Committee is about to fill yet another of its highest ranking posts with a gay man. Our friends at Raw Story report that yet-to-admit-he's-gay Ken Mehlman, is now all but certain to become chairman of the RNC, bringing the number of high-ranking gay RNC leaders to three when he joins Chief Financial Officer Jay Banning and National Field Director Daniel Gurley as the gay face of the Republican party.

The Peach hinted in mid-September that Republicans were using the anti-gay agenda to hide their own sexual secrets. One wonders if Ken, Jay and Dan conjured up their homophobic rhetoric while lounging around the spa asking each other whether they like snails and oysters.

It's Official: Another Rat Deserting the Bush Ship

Sorry, but The Peach lost most of its respect for Colin Powell in the course of recent events. Anyway, his resignation is official.

Other prominent resignations to be officially announced today: Agriculture Secretary Ann "That Cow Looks Just Fine to Me" Veneman; Education Secretary Rod "I Prefer Private, Christian Schools" Paige; and Energy Secretary Spencer "Proud to Earn a Zero Rating From the League of Conservation Voters" Abraham.

Powell Resigns According to BBC Radio News

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