Baron's Brain: The Truth About Bush's Physical

The Brain just heard that Bush passed his yearly physical. Being a bit skeptical of the whole report (there is that habitual lying problem), The Brain pressed Bush's physician about the Prez's real condition. With great hesitance, the anonymous doctor provided The Brain with this astonishing photo displaying the true condition of this country's leader.

The Brain asks: Is anyone surprised?

Another Shining Example Of Bush's America

Remember Mike and Sharla Hintz? Bush held the Clive, Iowa couple up as shining examples of his most recent tax-cut bill when he stopped in Des Moines to sign the most recent round of slashes. The Prez even made mention that it was the couple's 13th wedding anniversary and that next year when they receive their refund check "they may want to come to Texas."

Not so fast! The Washington Post is reporting that Mike, a First Assembly of God youth pastor, has been arrested this week and charged with sexual exploitation of a child. Apparently, last spring Mr. Hintz began a relationship with a 17 year-old girl who was a member of the church's youth group. The contact occurred at the girl's home and during a mission trip to India.

The Peach would like to know if this is all part of the new and improved child-tax-credit initiative? Oh, and by the way, when Mike comes to visit, Bush may want to hide the twins.

Republican Revisionism: Slavery Not That Bad

In yet another sign of this country's march backward towards the Dark Ages, Right-wing Christians are now working to revise this nation's perception of slavery from "it was a crime against humanity" to "well, at least they had free housing."

The News and Observer of North Carolina is reporting that Cary Christian School, one of the largest Christian schools in the area, has adopted a text entitled "Southern Slavery, As It Was," a book that provides biblical justification for slavery and asserts that slaves weren't treated as badly as people think. Rather, the text describes slaves as living "a life of plenty, of simple pleasures." The book is co-authored by Steve Wilkins, a board member of the Alabama-based League of the South, an organization classified as a "hate group" by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

Cary's principal, Larry Stephenson, justifies the use of the text by claiming that, "You can have two different sides, a Northern perspective and a Southern perspective." And Cary parents seem to agree, suggesting that it is narrow-minded, if not downright propagandistic, to teach schoolchildren only one side of the slavery story.

Well shut The Peach's mouth and pass the grits! Perhaps there are "alternative" perspectives on lynching and Jim Crow laws as well, to which we have unfairly been giving short shrift in our school curricula. Given the current direction of our nation, we wouldn't be a bit surprised to see those turning up in Cary's textbooks in the near future. Stay tuned.

Soldiers Ask Rummy: Whose Ass Are You Really Saving?

The AP wire is reporting that with the intention of giving a thank you speech to troops at Camp Buehring in Kuwait, Donald Rumsfeld instead found himself on the receiving end of a barrage of grievances from soldiers. Among the complaints were that soldiers were left to dig in local landfills for scrap metal to be turned into armor, that active-duty Army units get priority over National Guard units for the best equipment, and that the Army continues to use their "stop-loss" power to prevent soldiers from leaving the service. Apparently, many of the criticisms were followed by loud shouts of approval and applause. Rummy's response? "You go to war with the Army you have, not the Army you might want or wish to have" and "You can have all the armor in the world on a tank and a tank can still be blown up."

The Peach sympathizes with the soldiers that are just now recognizing how this administration has led them into a hornet's nest with only a fly swatter to protect themselves.

Duhh, Gee George, Which Way Did He Go?

As Bush continues to insist the war in Iraq is a crucial step in the war on terror the BBC reports this frightening fact: no one knows where Osama is. That's right, as we continue to sink in an Iraqi quagmire that had nothing to do with any terrorist attacks against the U.S., Pakistani leader Pervez Musharraf stated that not only is Osama Bin Laden alive, but there are no active leads as to his whereabouts. In fact, he went on to say that any suggestion of Bin Laden's location would be a guess. Let's see if The Peach gets this right. We continue losing young men and women so Iraqis can get to the polls before Groundhog's Day, while the most feared and dangerous man in the world, who hates our guts, is nowhere to be found. How's that for a security policy.

The Bush Way Of Thinking

Our friends at Raw Story are reporting that the Bush administration is planning on firing both the chairwoman and vice-chairman of the U.S. Civil Rights Commission. According to the White House, they plan on filling the vacancies with two people who "share [Bush's] strong commitment to uphold civil rights for all Americans." For those who want to know exactly what this administration's record on civil rights is, The Peach is rerunning a story that it ran October 10th (The Right's Human Wrongs, below). Now all readers can see the real reason for the firing. Included at the end of the story is a link to the Commission's report.

The Right's Human Wrongs

In a damning rebuke of the Bush administration, the United States Commission on Civil Rights, a bi-partisan organization, has posted a report which is critical of Bush's civil rights record. Some of the highlights (or lowlights) included:

Voting Rights: The Bush administration did not provide leadership to ensure timely passage and swift implementation of the Help America Vote Act (HAVA) of 2002. As a result, Congress did not appropriate funds for election reform until almost two years into the administration.

Equal Educational Opportunity: The No Child Left Behind Act (NCLB) does not sufficiently address unequal education, a major barrier to closing the achievement gap between minority and white students.

Affirmative Action: Instead of promoting affirmative action in federal contracting and education, the administration promotes "race neutral alternatives," in many instances not applicable and in others not overly effective at maintaining diversity.

Environmental Justice: EPA has taken few actions to ensure disparate impact of minority communities to environmental contamination.

Racial Profiling: The administration responded to the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks by instituting regulations that facilitate profiling rather than prevent it. Immigrants and visitors from Arab and Middle Eastern countries were subjected to increased scrutiny, including interviews, registration, and in some cases removal.

The Peach has discovered that Republican members not only objected to the report's posting, but are holding back the report's official release till conveniently after the election. We at The Peach have only this to say: NOT ON OUR WATCH!

You can read the whole report here.