The Peach

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Toto, Thank God We're Not In Kansas Anymore

Has Kansas' primary goal become surpassing Florida as America's flakiest state? The Peach suspects so. For starters, like an episode right out of The Twilight Zone, the Kansas School Board put Charles Darwin on trial attempting to debunk his proven "theories" on evolution in order to implement their unproven "theories" on (un)intelligent design. The ultimate purpose is for the bible-thumping members of the board to personally rewrite science so it better reflects the science-fiction/fantasy world they currently reside in.

Now, Kansans have taken a "Kansas for Kansans, Outsiders out" approach to democracy by attempting to eliminate tuition breaks for illegal immigrants.

Students suing the state claim it is unfair to give tuition breaks to illegal immigrants and not to legal residents. According to the "legal" Kansas students' attorney, the state's reading of the current law would create a "giant semantic loophole" and subvert federal immigration laws' intent. The law in Kansas basically reads as follows:
Illegal immigrants who wish to qualify for the program must have attended a Kansas high school for at least three years and graduated or earned a general education development certificate in Kansas. Also, they must actively be seeking legal immigration status or plan to do so when they are eligible.
The Peach is nothing short of perplexed as to where the "giant semantic loophole" is. Is this another one of them "intelligent design" phrases? Or are we devolving into another one of those brain numbing discussions over the word "nuance?"

It seems, in order to keep God's land for God's people, Kansans are not only requiring their offspring to become "children of the corn," they must also adopt the rule "once an illegal immigrant, always an illegal immigrant." In any case, if dumber is as dumber gets, then Kansans are one step away from being, hmmmm, nothing but a bunch of dumb apes.

1 Comments:

At 12:03 AM, Blogger taters said...

Excellent, Rudy! Hope all is well.

 

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