Dana Does D.C.

Now that the Bush administration has been caught with their collective pants down attempting to cover up their approval of torture interrogation (see previous article "We Do Torture"), their press darling, Dana Peri"dun"no, has gone into full-flung, ditsy blond mode in her responses to questions regarding the secretive memos. The Peach would like to give a sampling of Duh-Duh-Dana's answers during the most recent press briefing:

I do not have anything to start with . . . I would have to refer you to Department of Justice . . . I'm not going to comment on that . . . I don't know. I don't -- I wasn't on -- I don't recall . . . I don't believe that I -- I'm not in a position to be able to do that . . . I don't know. I don't know . . . I'm not going to comment on those . . . I don't know . . . I would have to check . . . I wasn't thinking of that in particular . . . Well, I think . . . I don't know . . . No, I don't think so . . . I would guess . . . I've not heard that . . . I don't know . . . I don't think it's a new request . . . As I understand it . . . I don't think it's necessary . . . I don't think we're seeking their help . . . I'm not going to go there . . . I haven't asked him about it . . . I have to say that I have not heard about that. Can I check on it?

Will someone please get this girl a bag of Smarty-Poofs? Please?

We Do Torture

After declaring torture "abhorrent" in December 2004 it now appears that the Justice Department secretly approved many extreme forms of interrogation the following February 2005.

Alberto Gonzales approved the "harshest interrogation techniques ever used by the CIA" over the objections of then deputy attorney general James B. Comey, who told colleagues at the department that "they would all be 'ashamed' when the world eventually learned of it."

When asked to comment a White House spokesman stated that the "practices fall within U.S. law." The Peach is guessing that it's U.S. law circa Salem Witch Trials.

Big Time Bio Oops

As just another symbol of "who's watching the hen house," it seems that our government has lost track of which labs are experimenting with deadly and contagious germs. When asked by the GAO (Government Accountability Office) as to whether they knew of all labs conducting tests, all twelve (including the FBI!) answered NO.

The Associated Press also reported that since 2003 there have been "more than 100 accidents and missing shipments." The Peach would like to point out that these are organisms that terrorists would love to get their hands on. Do we have to remind everyone of that pesky anthrax-at-the-post-office incident a few years back? Click here.